Authentically Mine – Musings of a Restless Mind

I have a figurative toolbox that I cart around with me everywhere. You have one, too. We all do. Maybe it’s a messy open box, or an ergonomic tote with lots of pockets, or even a fancy chest with drawers and a space for everything. Maybe you’re fancy and have a rotating collection! Size doesn’t matter; all figurative toolboxes can hold a countless number of tools.

Regardless of the container, you’d expect that once you added a tool to your collection that it would always be available to you, no matter the circumstance. But the rules are different for invisible toolboxes. The tools in my toolbox vary according to an infinite number of variables. My toolbox may be pretty well stocked when all conditions are favorable: I’m in a good mood, well-rested, well-fed, comfortable, not distracted, not stressed, doing something that I’m skilled at, and so on.

However, if one variable about my situation changes, I may find a completely different set of tools available through no fault of my own. It’s unpredictable and annoying. A bit of anxiety sets in and half of what was in there the last time I looked has been replaced by a gum wrapper, a broken pencil, and bent nail. What happened to my spiffy cordless drill? I just had it!

My tools are what allow me to be my best self and do my best work. The best that I can do varies depending on my circumstances because the tools that I have available at any given moment are constantly changing. Also, my tools are unique to me. While you may have a tool that does a similar job, it likely works differently and perhaps even better than mine.

We are all doing the best we can with what we have to work with at any given moment.

Note that best does not necessarily mean perfect. Perfection is a subjective ideal that intentionally stays just out of reach. What’s important to me might not be important to you. What looks great to me might not look great to you. We all have different tape measures in our toolbox and work from completely different punch lists. (Just how far can I stretch this metaphor, anyway?)

Also note that doing your best is completely different from living up to your potential. That’s a completely different topic for a completely different post.

I don’t have much patience for pointing out imperfections in a judgmental way. The unkind presentation rubs me the wrong way every time. I am quick come to the defense of others, but I am much more likely to bristle and stew in silence when I am on the receiving end. (This paragraph is brought to you by a raging Enneagram Type 9.)

Be a part of the solution or let it go if it isn’t a big deal and doesn’t affect you. The doer did the best they could, putting as much energy into the thing that they could at the time. If you don’t like something that someone else did and aren’t able to be a coach, mentor, or guide, then take that energy and use it to learn from others and handle a similar situation differently when it applies to you. If it is a big deal, do step up! Preferably with kindness and grace with a little patience and understanding thrown in for good measure.

Be kind. Be helpful. Don’t judge.

The world is a much kinder and generally more pleasant place when I choose to believe that people generally try to do their best. My best isn’t your best. My best when all conditions are favorable looks differently when I’m stressed, but it is still my best. And it’s never perfect.